On this one I think really picky editing of the word choice can make it much stronger. Using ‘usually’ in the first panel has the effect of starting to give the joke away before it’s even made – we know right away this is going to have something to do with the one time he doesn’t. I would take it out and just use “I’m pretty environmentally conscious.”.
In the last panel you can apply similar editing and take out ‘at least’. Just having “Well, most of the time…” gives more thwomp by using fewer words.
Be careful of your choice of punctuation: “Eh..” needs three dots to make a proper elipsis, and every time a sentence ends it needs a period so the reader knows when to pause mentally. It may seem overly nit-picky to get into punctuation, but since comics are a 50/50 split between words and images, it’s important that the verbal part be presented strongly (meaning grammar).
I do this in my own house. Missing the bin is something that I just accept happens!
hah, yeah i do it all the time. drives the ladybird crazy.
Sometimes you just don’t care about the two points.
I usually go for 3, which I assume is the root of the problem.
On this one I think really picky editing of the word choice can make it much stronger. Using ‘usually’ in the first panel has the effect of starting to give the joke away before it’s even made – we know right away this is going to have something to do with the one time he doesn’t. I would take it out and just use “I’m pretty environmentally conscious.”.
In the last panel you can apply similar editing and take out ‘at least’. Just having “Well, most of the time…” gives more thwomp by using fewer words.
Be careful of your choice of punctuation: “Eh..” needs three dots to make a proper elipsis, and every time a sentence ends it needs a period so the reader knows when to pause mentally. It may seem overly nit-picky to get into punctuation, but since comics are a 50/50 split between words and images, it’s important that the verbal part be presented strongly (meaning grammar).